That's right, you heard me. I've been playing your game "Saint's Row", and while the vast majority of the content falls under the standard GTA rip-off umbrella category of toothless satire and gangster juvenalia, there's one thing that I found truly offensive.
Freckle Bitch's.
For those who haven't played the game, Freckle Bitch's is the preferred fast-food eatery in the world of Saint's Row. If that name seems painfully crude, avoid the game, because that's the absolute pinnacle of the wit on display.
The premise of 'Freckle Bitch's' is that Wendy (the little girl from the restaurant), all grown up into a white trash whore, has opened a chain of fast food joints of her own. It has menu items whose names are all bad single entendres of one sort or another, and a sign that depicts Wendy (the 'Freckle Bitch') sitting, legs splayed, dressed as Daisy Duke's far sluttier cousin. Although, by Daisy Duke I obviously mean Catherine Bach, because no one could be sluttier than Jessica Simpson.
Why is this so offensive to me? I'm not really sure, after all, who could have guessed I felt this strongly about a corporate mascot? Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that in the amoral and socially irresponsible world of corporate fast food, (the recently departed) Dave Thomas always seemed like the only decent person. I'd go so far as to guess that he was likely the only man in the whole industry who actually possessed a working soul, and there was just something innocent and charming about the fact that he named his business after his daughter. What Volition has done is gone ahead and leveraged those decades of goodwill for a pathetic joke that would have been just as funny (read as: not at all) were it not a reference, and just an original childish, misogynistic jibe.
Although, to be fair, it's still better than True Crime: New York's fast food chain, Fart Taco.
Seriously, though. Volition, go f*ck yourselves.